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May 4th, 2017
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Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47087
06/26/17 02:10 AM
06/26/17 02:10 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
C
Capt. Guts Offline
LFF Captain
Capt. Guts  Offline
LFF Captain
C

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942

[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47103
06/27/17 11:37 PM
06/27/17 11:37 PM
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 494
B
BernieOfCarthageTx Offline
Angler
BernieOfCarthageTx  Offline
Angler
B

Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 494
The Medical Bills are going to be a BAD joke if they
dont FIX the Medical Industry like right now.


The Best Lakes in the ArklaTex!
Toledo Bend Pinkston Murvaul
Caddo Cross Just take you pick!
Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47136
07/01/17 03:02 AM
07/01/17 03:02 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
You gotta read the box.

[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47176
07/04/17 02:30 AM
07/04/17 02:30 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47212
07/07/17 11:28 PM
07/07/17 11:28 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
Job posting. There is a possibility that you could hit the 15 dollar an hour target if you calculate in the benefits.

[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47257
07/13/17 02:14 PM
07/13/17 02:14 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47259
07/13/17 09:39 PM
07/13/17 09:39 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
C
Capt. Guts Offline
LFF Captain
Capt. Guts  Offline
LFF Captain
C

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
roflmao

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47261
07/14/17 01:22 AM
07/14/17 01:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
C
Capt. Guts Offline
LFF Captain
Capt. Guts  Offline
LFF Captain
C

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942


Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?

No sir, it's Google's Pizza.

Did I dial the wrong number?

No sir, Google bought the pizza store last week.

Oh, alright - then I’d like to place an order please.

Do you want the usual?

The usual? You know what my usual is?

According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.

Okay - that’s what I want this time too.

May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?

No, I hate vegetables.

But your cholesterol is not good.

How do you know?

Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.

But you haven’t taken the medicine regularly. 4 months ago you purchased a box of only 30 tablets from Drugsale Network

I bought more from another drugstore.

It's not showing on your credit card sir.

I paid in cash.

But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.

I have another source of cash.

This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.

WHAT THE HELL? ENOUGH! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one
to spy on me ...

I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport ... it expired 5 weeks ago.

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47262
07/14/17 03:04 AM
07/14/17 03:04 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
bang roflmao

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47266
07/14/17 11:33 AM
07/14/17 11:33 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
THIS IS A PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING!! Very informative. DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

WHEN YOU SHOWER AND THE SHAMPOO RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY, STOP AND READ THE LABEL!
The approved warning is clearly posted: "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME" - no wonder I gained weight!


I now shower with Dawn dish washing soap. It's label reads "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! You're welcome. Spread the word...

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47311
07/18/17 01:08 PM
07/18/17 01:08 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47364
07/26/17 12:29 AM
07/26/17 12:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas

Golf and Dentures:
A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures in the morning. His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before. "Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job? "The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the family jewels. "The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the heck does that have to do with your dentures?" "It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47418
07/30/17 10:16 AM
07/30/17 10:16 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47451
08/03/17 11:09 PM
08/03/17 11:09 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47473
08/07/17 10:01 PM
08/07/17 10:01 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
The Clever Old Man

[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47545
08/19/17 07:18 PM
08/19/17 07:18 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
Redneck fish finder

[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47602
08/25/17 08:38 PM
08/25/17 08:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
Anger Management class.
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47668
08/31/17 11:15 PM
08/31/17 11:15 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
C
Capt. Guts Offline
LFF Captain
Capt. Guts  Offline
LFF Captain
C

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47689
09/04/17 07:49 PM
09/04/17 07:49 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
FEMA showed up with toilet paper.
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47783
09/21/17 12:22 AM
09/21/17 12:22 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
C
Capt. Guts Offline
LFF Captain
Capt. Guts  Offline
LFF Captain
C

Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,942
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #47811
09/24/17 12:29 PM
09/24/17 12:29 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
[Linked Image]

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #48911
03/16/18 07:51 PM
03/16/18 07:51 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #48918
03/17/18 12:53 PM
03/17/18 12:53 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
The Red Cross just knocked on my door and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan. I said, "We'd love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Re: Been slow, let's liven this place with a joke thread [Re: Cast] #48919
03/18/18 01:25 AM
03/18/18 01:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
D
Doctoordan Offline
Extreme Angler
Doctoordan  Offline
Extreme Angler
D

Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,576
Southeast Texas
I can see this being replaced with a “Going out of business sale” sign.

[Linked Image]

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